end of the year emo reflections
Becoming a business owner has had unexpected challenges. Arguably the most difficult has been the forced separation of personal and professional life. I constantly want to intertwine them, or I supposed they are intertwined and I am constantly expending mental energy to differentiate. I am a very all-things-on-the-table sort of person and so starting this new venture meant reeling back and slowly exposing myself to people, thoughtfully. I have been told my personality is like drinking vodka when you expected water (still not entirely sure if that was meant as a compliment...) but it has a ring to it and leaves people who have yet to know me probably feeling confused and I guess that seems a better place to start than knowing. Who knows, maybe I'm crazy or maybe I'm the illest which I think means cool? So many questions.
As 2016 comes to a close I have found myself assessing what matters to me, in a professional sense. What jobs do I want to take now that I am a few years in. Who do I want to work with more. What quality of life do I want to lead, and I guess making business decisions from that place. What I've decided thus far is something I have never had to choose until now; I'm ok with people knowing me for who I am. I am learning that because I am so passionate about what I do and I am trying to make a living doing it, parts of my personal life will intrinsically be involved. I think I'm more OK with that. I guess for sometime I thought being too vulnerable would make me seem unprofessional. Heck, maybe it will. I don't know. But I do know this is the only way I want to be. I'm hoping I find more time to write on here but also hoping I don't find too much time cause Lord knows I can rant.