currently eating salmon cause I like salmon now I guess

Sitting in my living room writing emails and maybe also watching Homeland because I'm hooked (even though I know it's a scam cause Brody will prolly never get true justice and the drama will never really end..but this is why we watch I suppose) and thinking a lot the last week about how we florists treat each other in this industry. I recently was accused of copying someone's designs and basically bullied to not do it again, albeit the content of the accusation was wildly untrue, these thing can still get to you. Make you think a lot about how you don't like to be talked to or treated, how you want to make others feel instead. And also has made me think a lot about what it means to be original in floral design. Unlike painting or graphic design or woodworking we are never working with a blank slate. Our product has done a lot of the work for us and all our "designs" are merely an interpretation. I think we collect likes and dislikes over the years from various places and hundreds of people and the result is always what sits in front of us. We all start by attempting to imitate those we admire and along the way find ourselves. We impersonate, reflect, and transform.

Jenn Sanchez Floral Design

I love this quote by Jim Jarmusch. A little more intense than my stance but, nonetheless poignant 

“Nothing is original. Steal from anywhere that resonates with inspiration or fuels your imagination. Devour old films, new films, music, books, paintings, photographs, poems, dreams, random conversations, architecture, bridges, street signs, trees, clouds, bodies of water, light and shadows. Select only things to steal from that speak directly to your soul. If you do this, your work (and theft) will be authentic. Authenticity is invaluable; originality is non-existent."

Indulge me for a little by allowing me to be hazardously specific for a greater point- I was accused of using a single rose variety that another floral designer also uses and it resembling her designs by not only using this rose, but choosing to reflex it's petals. Reflexing, a technique people have been using since the 80s. You can google it. This rose variety, available across the world and used by many people. A popular antique pink. It's like someone saying you are copying them because you are wearing a flannel (or overalls or chokers or Doc Martins) and flannels are their thing when we all know flannels have been around for a long time and are becoming mainstream. I'm not hiding my frustration or pretending this isn't a bit of a upset rant, because it is. Just more broad than this single instance. My frustration is with the fact we are in a predominantly female industry where people, as of recent, love to speak about women empowerment while assuming the worst of other women. Posting about solidarity because the retro photo of Michelle Obama looks good in their feed, but in real life talking shit about everyone. It's made me, at first, make harsh judgments on others but that judgement is immediately followed by intense guilt of the awareness that I also do this. That I do this, I don't want to do it, and I want to understand how to be a vehicle for kindness. While envy seems impossible to avoid, I want to have the courage to combat it by working to celebrate other successes. Not merely give in and find hurtful things to say because it stokes my ego for the moment. All this makes me want to go big and start some sort of togetherness conference but alas, you cannot change people and annoying as the cliche is, change starts with myself. 

On an entirely different note and a topic for another post, this unexpected confrontation has made me realize how desperately I just want everyone to get along. Everyone to like me and be my friend. Not even best or close friends, just, on good terms. Finding out you can do everything right, be kind, polite, apologetic, but again you cannot change people. Everyone has their own battles and sometimes you get caught in the crossfire. 

I have inserted a few photos of arrangements from a job I had month ago and I think it's because I didn't really know where this was going when I started and now they seem very unfitting but also I don't want to post all my intense feelings without some light hearted nature to balance things out. So, there they are. And that was an epically crafted run-on sentence. 

Jenn Sanchez Floral Design

china and stress and other things

*at a coffee shop in LA feeling overwhelmed* Not fully believing or understanding how we are over a month into 2017. Usually this is the off season but as fate would have it, and I am not complaining, I came back from China and hit the ground running with jobs. All of them have been with brands and a year ago (to the month) I would tell you my dream was to do more work with brands, less weddings. Thought this was what they call a pipe dream...so each event I book with a brand, I thank the heavens and try and enjoy every moment of it, half expecting it not to happen again for awhile. With all that said, I am eager and nervous to get back into weddings. High intensity for a short period of time. Starting to eat healthy again and take my vitamins in an effort to compensate for years of my life about to be lost in stress. Still contemplating and scheming ways to cope with the anxiety and pressure of it all. So far my skin is taking the brunt of it and almost audibly telling me, "Please just go to yoga or something. Calm the ef down". 

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China is a crazy place. Crazy because it is so different, obviously not a latin based language so absolutely nothing sounded familiar. Unfamiliar smells and a different way of life altogether. Crazy because there are 1.5 BILLION people in that country so who am I to say we, in a country of 380 million, know anything about "how things should be done". Humbling. Interesting. Strange, but mostly eye opening. 

Sidenote/advice to myself: Bring Sydney on any trips with you overseas. Prior to this trip we were just acquaintances and now we are bonded for life- she's my ride or die friend ^^^ made the trip so much more fun. 

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We foraged a ton for these classes. Truthfully the product there was limited. We had to order everything in advance and were not able to physically go to any markets...something I have grown more comfortable with here in the states but ya know, different when it's in another country and you don't have communication with reps you trust. All that said, the foliage was our saving grace. I noticed how heavily I rely on "fancy flowers" for impact and that isn't sustainable or really being creative (dare I say). Made me see flowers differently. 

Jenn Sanchez Floral Design

Seriously impressed with all the students. A lot of them did not have any previous experience and their approach to it was very relaxed, something that I continually (maybe forever) am working on. 

Overall loved the trip, would probably go back again. Got me itching to travel and teach anywhere and everywhere so if your reading this from *cough* Japan, email me stat. OK to be compensated in food.